How to teach your kids to be grateful

We live in a material world, and unfortunately many of us spoil our kids. Parents want to give their children more than they had growing up, so some spoiling seems inevitable. But we don't want our self-centered kids to become self-absorbed, ungrateful adults. So what can parents do?

Step 1: Start when they are young

From the time children are toddlers, we can begin teaching them about gratitude. Start by not giving them everything. It's OK to want your child to have nice things, but when we give our children every single thing they want, they develop a major sense of entitlement.

Step 2: Make a "get one, donate one" rule

You want to teach your kids about helping others and being grateful for what they have. One of the easiest ways to do that with young children is to make a "get one, donate one" rule. For each new toy (or article of clothing) that your child is given, he must give one away. Donating to the needy or less fortunate is a great way for your kids to learn to be grateful. If possible, don't just put the toys in a box and drop them off yourself. Let your kids actually see where the toys are going by visiting a children's hospital or shelter.

Step 3: Volunteer as a family

Speaking of helping the less fortunate, the sooner you can get your children involved in volunteer opportunities, the better. Volunteering is a great way for families to bond, while also helping out others. Check out these ways that you can volunteer as a family.

Step 4: Insist on thank-you notes

From the time your child can write (and even before), you should insist on sending thank-you notes for each gift received, no matter how small. Even toddlers can draw pictures on the card or note, and you can sign their names. This basic act of sending notes is a simple task that will help gratitude stick with them throughout their lives.

Step 5: Take the emphasis off material gifts

Throughout the year (and especially at birthdays and holiday time), downplay the presents. When you are celebrating special occasions, talk about the joy of doing activities together rather than receiving gifts.

Step 6: Practice what you preach

Your children look up to you more than anyone. If you want them to be more grateful, you need to do the same. Make gratitude a part of your daily conversation. Talk about all the things you appreciate, from your husband taking out the trash to your co-workers helping you with a project. By showing and talking about all the things that you have in your lives to be thankful for, you'll be on the road to raising humble, grateful children.

Author: Kori Ellis

5 ways you can help a new mom with a special needs kid

5 Ways you can help a new mom with a special needs kid

The process of accepting and dealing with our own fears and insecurities when we are told that our kid has any kind of special needs must be accompanied with love and patience. This is important for you and everybody around you. You are going through a difficult time and everybody needs to understand it. Unfortunately, people often don't know what to say, how to behave or what to do, and end up not doing anything. 

However, it's important that we all understand that those confusing feelings that both moms and dad experience--many times as a product of guilt and sadness--are only stages of the adaptation process that families go before being able to enjoy and celebrate their lives again.

It's not news that many marriages break, many families fall apart and many friendships are lost in this process. This is why I wanted to talk to you about about five basic things that we all should know about the experience of having a child with special needs.They are important for the parents and for the people who love them.

1.  If you are in a relationship with a new mom who's child has been diagnosed as special needs, a family member or a friend, the best thing you can do for her is keep her company and listen to her. Make her feel your support. Don't pressure her or console her, wait for her to tell you what she needs. Sometimes, a sincere hug is the best gift in moments like that those.

2. This initial stages bring a lot of mix feelings and it's normal that those come out in many different ways. Many moms cry often, others get angry, others pretend to be strong or indifferent and avoid talking about the topic. A good friend or loved one can respect that, doesn't judge and understands that the most important thing is to offer unconditional support. A great way to show love is to respect the need of space, but never leave the person alone. 

3. Often, a mom in this situation tries to prove that she doesn't need any help. It's a way to avoid pity for her or her child. There are organic ways to stay connected and give support. For instance, you can do simple domestic task that can lighten the load, but allow you to respect her limits.  

4. It's not uncommon that the mother falls in a spell of postpartum depression if her special needs child is a newborn. The first weeks with a new baby are overwhelming enough, but add to that such an unexpected diagnosis. Sometimes, friends and family members criticize the mom, but that just makes things worse. The best they can do is to respect their mourning for the image of that perfect child. It's a natural way to open space and understand that the love is exactly the same. If the mom doesn't seem to rebound from this stage, it's important to get professional help. Post-partum depression is a serious illness that can put in danger the lives of the mother and her child.

5. Leave your prejudices at the curb and be ready to receive this new family member as an individual without pre-conceptions. This is the best gift you can give the parents in this process, the full support of their family and community, and their best efforts to learn.

Author: Eliana Tardío